*ShortlistedfortheJhalakPrize2023**AnitaPati’sdebutcollection,*HidingtoNothing,exploresthedestabilisingeffectsofviolence,particularlyempire’saftermath,onapsyche.Threadedwithinternaldialogue,thismulti-layeredworkwitnesseshowunbelongingcanunsettleperceptionsofthebrownfemalebodywithinanunwelcoming,evenhostile,environment.From’exotic’dodospunishedfornotbeingdovestoGreenface,onwhomblondegirlsbirthnatterjacktoads,marginalpresencestelltheirstories.HidingtoNothingsuggeststhatcomplexanddamaginglegaciesinalltheirformscancreateshockwavesthatreverberateoveralifetime,stoppinglivesfromreachingtheirfullpotential.Andthetraumaexperiencedthroughcenturiesofcolonialhistorycontinuestobeembodiedandenacted.Theseperceptionsofbody-imageandself-wortharepickedupinthecentraldocumentarysequence,Bloodfruit,whichisbasedoninterviewswithwomen.Bloodfruitgivesvoicetothelessheardnarrativesofinfertilityanddifficulttrajectoriestowardsbecoming,ornotbecoming,a’mother’.Here,theoften-fraughtnotionsofwomanhoodandmotherhoodarealsoshowntofeedintoideasonwhoisabletomother.Patiusesanoriginal,lyricalapproachtowardstheambiguitiesandambivalencesthatcloudourdecisions.Ultimately,ambientaggressionstowardsourownandotherbodiescanonlybemadegoodbybreakingthecycle.Patiunravelscompactedpainbutthoselookingforeasyanswersorredemptionwillfindnocompromisehere.
